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Posted in James Possible
September 5th 2008, 9:43am
A Friday Morning Muse!
If you have ever had children or know someone
who has...you will understand the comment...
"It goes by so fast!"
...as you feel the frustration and the joy all
in seemingly one breath.
Having three children has taught me more, opened
my eyes wider and challenged me in ways I could
not have known to be possible otherwise.
At 13 my daughter now looks down at my wife who
is 5' 8" and has legs that seem to be at least
a 12 inches longer than mine.
Still, in a blink, there I am holding her as
only I could to quiet early discomforts as a
14 month old child. Some how I found the
right angle, the tune (as I hummed or sang
to her) and just the right position to bring
her discomfort to rest.
Such is life, in a blink we can travel to
any moment and relive it as if it was once
again...with one very real difference...it
already happened!
The outcome is known!
I could easily go into ways that you or I
can replay and change those painful moments
to provide for a different experience today
and yet...this isn't my point!
Nor is it my point to steep myself or to
suggest for you to do the same with those
memories that simply fill you with more joy
than you can take in that brief moment. A
great idea, just not the point.
The Coaches BUZZ is in some ways like a
child...
When I first held my daughter my life
immediately changed and the demarcation
of life before and life after happened.
All with a touch, nothing more.
Here's what I mean...
- I knew my life would never be the same.
- I knew I would experience things I couldn't
even begin to imagine.
- I knew for the rest of my life I would
have a bond with another person that could
not be broken by time or circumstance.
...I knew instantly how blessed I was to have
such a gift in my daughter.
Like it or not, embarrassed or not, angered
or not, frustrated or not, loving or not,
experienced or not...ready or not here it
is...a child can hold and share life in such
a way that you are compelled to simply be
in the moment.
To a child, even at 13, NOW is all that matters!
Eight weeks ago I received an email from
someone with whom I have bonded and today call
my friend. Within the email was the scariest
of questions and concerns I could have faced...why
because of my own doubts.
Shirley's questions and concerns challenged me
to look at myself. I knew before I moved
forward it would be important for me to reconcile
my doubts.
Know one gives us a manual and we are not born
with one...so it really is up to self to figure
it out. That is to say, figure out what it
means for me to be James or for you to be YOU!
The greatest challenge each of us faces is coming
to terms with ourselves!
As I began to consider the questions and the
concern I reminded myself of Ted Williams. To
some one of the best baseball players ever to
play the game. After all he had .400 batting
average and that put at the very top of the
best of the best when it came to hitting the
ball.
Still, with a batting average of .400 (the
golden bat) the fact is that for every 10
pitches Williams took a swing at he would
miss 6. Think about it...6 misses compared
to 4 hits and he is considered one of the
all time greats!
So, I have had my share of misses and I
haven't really taken any measures to hide
them. Why should I? It's life!
Why shouldn't I talk about my mistakes?
And at the same time...
Why should I talk about my mistakes?
You see, just like you, there are those moments
when sharing how I "screwed-up" seems to work
and then there are those moments that it just
doesn't really seem important, in fact it isn't
even a thought.
The downside of Gurus, Experts, and all those
other people we tend to hold so high is that
we rarely get to see "first hand" the pain,
the struggle and all of the angst they experienced
while learning "how to be" the person you or
I see as amazing today.
I on the other hand am saying "here it is..."
I don't have all the answers, I have made more
mistakes than I care to think about, I have made
some money, I have lost some money, I have loved
I have hated, I have been angered and I have been
compassionate.
It is me, don't ask me to explain what I don't
know, I just know I'm willing to give all I know
to give to this project called Coaches BUZZ.
I also know that I'm willing to poor all I am into
those who in faith, curiosity or wonder raise their
hand and say "I want to be a part of Coaches BUZZ!"
"I want to know you!"
So (I say "so" way to much don't I...grin), despite
all of the imperfections and early challenges here
I am saying to you the Coaches BUZZ is the single
most important thing to happen to the coaching industry
in years and YES! I want you to experience all of
it...
- My mistakes
- My challenges
- My successes
- My accomplishments
- Those times feel oh so vulnerable
- Those times I look like a fool (even to myself)
- Those times my cheeks are so flushed from embarrassment
that I wonder how I will ever face the world tomorrow
- Those times moments when victory is mine
- Those times when victory is yours
- Those times when you and I together did more than we
could have alone
- Those times when you and I struggle to find the answer
- Those times when you and I struggle to communicate
- Those times when you and I don't even want to talk
- Those times when you and I achieve more than we knew
was possible
- Those moments when you and I are clearly a part of
something bigger than ourselves
...it's time and this journey isn't just mine, it is
yours as well. Your role is yours to define. I will
be here regardless with open arms.
It is up to you to choose the "HOW!"
Just like with my children there will be many celebrations
for you and I to experience and perhaps a party or two
for us to attend.
Ultimately I realize the Coaches BUZZ is something bigger
than me and it is all about this wonderful thing called...
"Coaching!"
...a world of possibility awaits!
I am reminded of the following as I come to the end of this
writing...
At the core of coaching is the willingness to
embrace what is not known...
- to dance with curiosity
- to dance with courage
- to dance with possibility
- even to dance with fear
...and to trust that "what is" in the moment
is exactly where we will benefit most!
Standing on ceremony or etiquette...
I'm not one to stand on ceremony or etiquette...if this
is important to you then you will need to let me know
that is so.
I'm truly not one for business casual, it's either a
fabulous double breasted suit with all the trimmings
or it's blue jeans.
I am at a point in my life where I realize that I have
shared far to little of myself because I was afraid
of what you might say. I was afraid of how you would
judge me or so it seemed.
The truth is, it was my own judgment that scared me
most and here I am letting go!
Early on I learned something about me and I want to
share it with you in hopes that you will begin to
understand how I look at you...
"War is a consequence of having to know someone before
you can love them!"
...as a coach I see in you the possibility for a
different kind of world. The Coaches BUZZ is my
contribution to world I see and know lives within
you.
Thanks for spending time with me today. Take a
moment to share a thought that is dear to you or
even a question. Let me and others like you know
what you're thinking and feeling.
To your success,
James Possible (Mr. Possible)
PS: Keep in mind...the only promise I'm really making
here is this...it will definitely be a journey to
remember and it will be messy!
That's just how creativity works!
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Comment by
Virginia
09/06/2008 09:31 a.m.
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Hi James,
Are you saying just be yourself? And to be and know myself it is vitally important
to know you and everyone around me because it is through you and others I begin to
know myself. You mirror to me who I am or am not.
The only time we have is the present and that is the only time we can be ourselves
is in the present.
The past is only in our memories, however good or bad they are. We pass judgement
on ourselves and others based totally on our thoughts which consist of our values.
The future, well it never comes. It is always "out there".
Your 13 year old daughter is right on, NOW is the only time that matters.
We have the capacity to love right now. There are no consequences for love, it is
the only way. You are love and I am love.
To be able to say "I am" is the ultimate.
Virginia Dever
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Comment by
James Possible
09/07/2008 12:39 a.m.
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Hi Virginia,
My post was inspired by a recent conversation (uncommon) with Gordon and Shirley
over at
Coaching Commons. During which I shared how I stopped myself from moving forward
on a past project.
Some how my experiences with my daughter reminded me of what really matters...
- Time is not something we can hold in the palm of hand.
- Judgment is never about others.
- Until we are willing to ask for what we want there is no action that matters.
- Mistakes and learning go hand-in-hand.
- Sometimes taking action is more important than understanding.
The other piece of my writing is about trusting myself enough to simply say
I am enough...my vision is enough...as it is! Knowing that the Coaches BUZZ!
is bigger than myself I feel it is important for me to trust what I don't
know as well as what I don't know that I don't know!
- I don't have to have all the answers.
- It is enough to embrace "what is" in this moment.
- It doesn't matter that everyone understands, only that I begin to share.
- It's important that I simply offer an invitation of possibility.
- It's important that I allow others an opportunity to to share and to contribute.
- It's important to trust!
- It's important to keep moving forward!
- Input is more important than appearance.
- Collaboration is more important that risk.
- It's important to share my vision.
Finally, I truly am open to the possibility of an outcome that has less to do
with me than you. This is a project I am committed to beyond reason.
It is a project that will support my wildest of dreams and yours as well...wink!
As you suggest Virginia, I am ultimately saying "I AM!"
Thanks!
James
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