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James Possible
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    Home  >  Insider Talk  >  James Possible
 >  Insider Talk Post


Posted in James Possible

September 5th 2008, 9:43am

A Friday Morning Muse!

If you have ever had children or know someone who has...you will understand the comment...

"It goes by so fast!"

...as you feel the frustration and the joy all in seemingly one breath.

Having three children has taught me more, opened my eyes wider and challenged me in ways I could not have known to be possible otherwise.

At 13 my daughter now looks down at my wife who is 5' 8" and has legs that seem to be at least a 12 inches longer than mine.

Still, in a blink, there I am holding her as only I could to quiet early discomforts as a 14 month old child. Some how I found the right angle, the tune (as I hummed or sang to her) and just the right position to bring her discomfort to rest.

Such is life, in a blink we can travel to any moment and relive it as if it was once again...with one very real difference...it already happened!

The outcome is known!

I could easily go into ways that you or I can replay and change those painful moments to provide for a different experience today and yet...this isn't my point!

Nor is it my point to steep myself or to suggest for you to do the same with those memories that simply fill you with more joy than you can take in that brief moment. A great idea, just not the point.

The Coaches BUZZ is in some ways like a child...

When I first held my daughter my life immediately changed and the demarcation of life before and life after happened. All with a touch, nothing more.

Here's what I mean...

  • I knew my life would never be the same.
  • I knew I would experience things I couldn't even begin to imagine.
  • I knew for the rest of my life I would have a bond with another person that could not be broken by time or circumstance.

...I knew instantly how blessed I was to have such a gift in my daughter.

Like it or not, embarrassed or not, angered or not, frustrated or not, loving or not, experienced or not...ready or not here it is...a child can hold and share life in such a way that you are compelled to simply be in the moment.

To a child, even at 13, NOW is all that matters!

Eight weeks ago I received an email from someone with whom I have bonded and today call my friend. Within the email was the scariest of questions and concerns I could have faced...why because of my own doubts.

Shirley's questions and concerns challenged me to look at myself. I knew before I moved forward it would be important for me to reconcile my doubts.

Know one gives us a manual and we are not born with one...so it really is up to self to figure it out. That is to say, figure out what it means for me to be James or for you to be YOU!

The greatest challenge each of us faces is coming to terms with ourselves!

As I began to consider the questions and the concern I reminded myself of Ted Williams. To some one of the best baseball players ever to play the game. After all he had .400 batting average and that put at the very top of the best of the best when it came to hitting the ball.

Still, with a batting average of .400 (the golden bat) the fact is that for every 10 pitches Williams took a swing at he would miss 6. Think about it...6 misses compared to 4 hits and he is considered one of the all time greats!

So, I have had my share of misses and I haven't really taken any measures to hide them. Why should I? It's life!

Why shouldn't I talk about my mistakes?

And at the same time...

Why should I talk about my mistakes?

You see, just like you, there are those moments when sharing how I "screwed-up" seems to work and then there are those moments that it just doesn't really seem important, in fact it isn't even a thought.

The downside of Gurus, Experts, and all those other people we tend to hold so high is that we rarely get to see "first hand" the pain, the struggle and all of the angst they experienced while learning "how to be" the person you or I see as amazing today.

I on the other hand am saying "here it is..."

I don't have all the answers, I have made more mistakes than I care to think about, I have made some money, I have lost some money, I have loved I have hated, I have been angered and I have been compassionate.

It is me, don't ask me to explain what I don't know, I just know I'm willing to give all I know to give to this project called Coaches BUZZ.

I also know that I'm willing to poor all I am into those who in faith, curiosity or wonder raise their hand and say "I want to be a part of Coaches BUZZ!" "I want to know you!"

So (I say "so" way to much don't I...grin), despite all of the imperfections and early challenges here I am saying to you the Coaches BUZZ is the single most important thing to happen to the coaching industry in years and YES! I want you to experience all of it...

  • My mistakes
  • My challenges
  • My successes
  • My accomplishments
  • Those times feel oh so vulnerable
  • Those times I look like a fool (even to myself)
  • Those times my cheeks are so flushed from embarrassment that I wonder how I will ever face the world tomorrow
  • Those times moments when victory is mine
  • Those times when victory is yours
  • Those times when you and I together did more than we could have alone
  • Those times when you and I struggle to find the answer
  • Those times when you and I struggle to communicate
  • Those times when you and I don't even want to talk
  • Those times when you and I achieve more than we knew was possible
  • Those moments when you and I are clearly a part of something bigger than ourselves

...it's time and this journey isn't just mine, it is yours as well. Your role is yours to define. I will be here regardless with open arms.

It is up to you to choose the "HOW!"

Just like with my children there will be many celebrations for you and I to experience and perhaps a party or two for us to attend.

Ultimately I realize the Coaches BUZZ is something bigger than me and it is all about this wonderful thing called...

"Coaching!"

...a world of possibility awaits!

I am reminded of the following as I come to the end of this writing...

At the core of coaching is the willingness to embrace what is not known...

  • to dance with curiosity
  • to dance with courage
  • to dance with possibility
  • even to dance with fear

...and to trust that "what is" in the moment is exactly where we will benefit most!

Standing on ceremony or etiquette...

I'm not one to stand on ceremony or etiquette...if this is important to you then you will need to let me know that is so.

I'm truly not one for business casual, it's either a fabulous double breasted suit with all the trimmings or it's blue jeans.

I am at a point in my life where I realize that I have shared far to little of myself because I was afraid of what you might say. I was afraid of how you would judge me or so it seemed.

The truth is, it was my own judgment that scared me most and here I am letting go!

Early on I learned something about me and I want to share it with you in hopes that you will begin to understand how I look at you...

"War is a consequence of having to know someone before you can love them!"

...as a coach I see in you the possibility for a different kind of world. The Coaches BUZZ is my contribution to world I see and know lives within you.

Thanks for spending time with me today. Take a moment to share a thought that is dear to you or even a question. Let me and others like you know what you're thinking and feeling.

To your success,

James Possible (Mr. Possible)

PS: Keep in mind...the only promise I'm really making here is this...it will definitely be a journey to remember and it will be messy!

That's just how creativity works!

Comment by Virginia 09/06/2008 09:31 a.m.

Hi James,

Are you saying just be yourself? And to be and know myself it is vitally important to know you and everyone around me because it is through you and others I begin to know myself. You mirror to me who I am or am not.

The only time we have is the present and that is the only time we can be ourselves is in the present.

The past is only in our memories, however good or bad they are. We pass judgement on ourselves and others based totally on our thoughts which consist of our values.

The future, well it never comes. It is always "out there".

Your 13 year old daughter is right on, NOW is the only time that matters.

We have the capacity to love right now. There are no consequences for love, it is the only way. You are love and I am love.

To be able to say "I am" is the ultimate.

Virginia Dever

  Reply to comment...
Comment by James Possible 09/07/2008 12:39 a.m.

Hi Virginia,

My post was inspired by a recent conversation (uncommon) with Gordon and Shirley over at Coaching Commons. During which I shared how I stopped myself from moving forward on a past project.

Some how my experiences with my daughter reminded me of what really matters...

- Time is not something we can hold in the palm of hand.

- Judgment is never about others.

- Until we are willing to ask for what we want there is no action that matters.

- Mistakes and learning go hand-in-hand.

- Sometimes taking action is more important than understanding.

The other piece of my writing is about trusting myself enough to simply say I am enough...my vision is enough...as it is! Knowing that the Coaches BUZZ! is bigger than myself I feel it is important for me to trust what I don't know as well as what I don't know that I don't know!

- I don't have to have all the answers.

- It is enough to embrace "what is" in this moment.

- It doesn't matter that everyone understands, only that I begin to share.

- It's important that I simply offer an invitation of possibility.

- It's important that I allow others an opportunity to to share and to contribute.

- It's important to trust!

- It's important to keep moving forward!

- Input is more important than appearance.

- Collaboration is more important that risk.

- It's important to share my vision.

Finally, I truly am open to the possibility of an outcome that has less to do with me than you. This is a project I am committed to beyond reason.

It is a project that will support my wildest of dreams and yours as well...wink!

As you suggest Virginia, I am ultimately saying "I AM!"

Thanks!

James

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